Blog – 21 Lessons learnt from Loss

It’s ok not to be ok

Day2 of 21

02 May 2022

After a loss, it’s definitely okay not to be okay.

Crying, being sad, feeling angry and guilty are completely normal. Grieving in the way which feels right to you is absolutely okay.

However, directly or indirectly, there are pressures for ‘getting over it!’

This may be something that one imposes on one’s self due to taking on responsibility for other family members. But how long for? Has that person just not lost someone too?

There are pressures from family members to move on. How often have you heard;

“You have to move on now”

“It will get better with time”

“I know how you are feeling”

“It’s part of life”

“It was her time to go”

“You have to live for your family”

“You have to be okay for your kids”

“You have to eat”

“You have to be happy for us”

“At least she didn’t suffer”

If you have experienced a loss, the above phrases may be very familiar to you. The expectations for getting over it can elevate the emotions that you may already be feeling.

Grief is something which is so personal. Not a single person will grieve in the same way yet there is an expectation that everyone should get over it.

Grief is your own personal journey. Seven years ago, me and my sisters lost our mum. We all experienced grief differently but with one thing in common. Our journeys may be different, but our grief for our mum will always remain – we have just learnt to live our lives around our grief and, that’s ok! If you have experienced a loss, what were your biggest challenges? What brought you the biggest comfort? Please leave a comment below as together we can help support each other