Stages of Grief

The Five stages of Grief

The five stages of grief model was developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and became famous after she published her book On Death and Dying in 1969. Kübler-Ross developed her model to describe people with terminal illness facing their own death. But it was soon adapted as a way of thinking about grief in general

Understanding the five stages of Grief

Denial

The feeling of numbness, disbelief and denial are common feelings soon after a loss. Whether the loss was sudden or expected, it’s a loss. The feeing of never seeing your loved one again can be extremely difficult to comprehend.

Anger

Anger is a completely normal emotion after a loss. When someone is taken from us, especially before their time, life can seem so cruel and unfair. There may also be anger towards ourselves and others as we remember last encounters and what we could have done more of for our loved one.

Bargaining

When someone dies, we feel helpless. We feel that perhaps if we did things differently, perhaps our loved one would still be with us. As we could not control their death, we start bargaining and conditioning with ourselves and making deals with ourselves. We start to believe that if we give up a favourite food, for example, that we would feel better.

Depression

Sadness and intense pain caused by the loss of a loved one can be extremely hard to understand by those around. The longing for a lost loved one can feel unbearable at times and the thought of continuing life without that person can seem unimaginable.

Acceptance

Acceptance may come in waves and it may seem that nothing will ever be the same again. Although you never “get over” the grief, over time, you learn to live around your grief with the beautiful memories of that special person.